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What are the chances MS extends support since adoption of Win 11 is so low? : sysadmin
Main Post: What are the chances MS extends support since adoption of Win 11 is so low? : sysadmin
Adopted moms of reddit, would you adopt children? Why or why not?
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Note: Looking for perspective from those who were adopted themselves.
My husband and I have a biological child and absolutely love being parents. We are interested in potentially adopting in the future. Giving this context to this post as it's not a matter of being able to bear a biological child or not, but more of an interest in bringing someone into our family and giving them the love and care every child deserves to have.
I had a long conversation recently with a close friend who is adopted, who said she wouldn't adopt herself, because she had a tough adoption story. I was surprised to hear this, and became curious to hear other adopted people's experiences.
Thanks in advance for everyone's thoughtfulness and openness on what can be a difficult subject.
Top Comment: I totally would. I was officially adopted when I was 10 to an equally abusive household (yay to the system!) and my husband and I would like to adopt older children when our kids are a bit older. I think it’s important that older kids in the system should get a chance to find loving homes, also.
Would you adopt?
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Ever since i found out that I've been adopted, I'm thinking about adopting in the future myself. giving a warm home and a loving family for someone who's been left alone, would be my way of giving back. What are your thoughts on this subject? Do you consider adopting children in the future?
Top Comment: Not a chance in hell would I adopt. I came from foster care. I know how much trauma I had, and how much therapy it took for me to just trust let alone continue to exist.
Is it difficult to adopt American kids?
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Was watching a TV show that featured an American family that had adopted children from Africa and Asia, and was in the process of adopting a child from Europe. I assume there are plenty of children in America who need families, so why is this family looking so far away? Are there barriers in terms of government or policy that would make it difficult to adopt local children?
Top Comment: Domestic adoptions (American kids adopted by American families) are generally of 3 types. Adoption from foster care, what is called a private adoption, or direct placement. Direct placement is when a (usually) family member raises the child instead of the biological parent - could be a grandparent, Aunt/Uncle, etc. The child may or may not be formally adopted - it could be just a legal guardianship. There are a large number of kids being raised by family members in the US. Parental rights are not always terminated. Second is private placements where the birth parent makes a plan to place a child for adoption usually right at birth. Usually there is an agency or lawyers involved that oversees the process. It is very expensive with prospective parents paying lawyers, agencies, and medical and legal expenses for the birth mother. Families looking to adopt can get placed on years long wait lists before their dossier is even presented as a possibility to birth parents and there is no guarantee that a birth mother picks them. The birth parents also have time to change their minds (could be months) after the baby is placed with the adoptive family. Both the timing and eventual cost are uncertain but there are many more families looking for babies than available infants. The birth parents may specifically request an open adoption where they still have regular contact with the child. Third is adoption from foster care. With foster care adoptions, in many cases the children are not infants. If they are infants, the birthparents were deemed not fit to raise the baby (maybe they are on drugs or in jail). The usual goal of foster care is to give the birthparents time to get their act together and reunite the child with them. (Obviously that isn't always the case but lots of times it is). The birth families, both mother and father and potentially even grandparents have to give up their parental rights prior to the child being able to be adopted by a new family. The cost for families to adopt from foster care is low but the uncertainty is very high. Adoptable children tend to be older and may have had trauma in their lives. There are many successful adoptions from foster care but there are also many children in the foster care system who are not available to adopt because their biological parents haven't and won't give up their parental rights. As the children get older it can be harder and harder to find families for them - for example, if they end up in foster care at 16 instead of as a toddler. So as for why people chose to adopt from other countries...domestic adoptions have a ton of uncertainty in cost, time, and even the uncertainty of if the child can be taken back after placement. International adoptions generally are more defined as to all 3 of those variables. There are usually a ton more families looking for healthy babies than available healthy babies. But domestic adoptions happen regularly in the US both through foster care and private placements.
Would like to hear experiences in adopting!
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Hi everyone, my wife and I are thinking of adopting but we would strongly prefer a child who is no more than 3 years old.
I would like to hear your experiences in adopting a >3 year old child. Was it a private adoption? Open? Closed? What were the costs of the private adoption? What was the process like?
Starting my journey and step one is today!
Top Comment: Private adoption domestically you are almost exclusively looking at newborns and open adoptions. The wait time can be very long and cost can be very large. No one can tell you the wait time bc a lot of it is chance. You need a birth mom to choose you and ultimately end up placing. Strongly recommend researching reputable agencies and interviewing them. In my experience the process from starting to actually getting listed felt super long (probably close to a year, granted this was in Covid times and we were Canadians adopting from the us). For older children in my experience they are typically from the foster care system and you have to be prepared for mental/physical disabilities and traumatic backgrounds.
why don't more people adopt?
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from what i've seen of natalist arguments for having children such as wanting to continue their legacy, wanting to have a family and sharing the things they enjoy about this world surely adoption would make more sense?
they'd be able to consider it a "selfless" act since they'd be giving someone already born into this world a better life and still bring themselves the benefits of having a child while not adding to overpopulation or risk bringing someone into this world destined to suffer due to being born with disabilities that they would not be able to care for.
there's nothing morally wrong or sad about it so why isn't it more popular?
Top Comment: Adoption is super hard. You need to check a ton of boxes before you can adopt. But you can be a fucking crackhead abuser and be a foster parent to 10 kids. The system is completely fucked. The entire process needs to be completely redone.
Looking to start the adoption process…
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Hi everyone, so me (32f) and my husband (34m) are looking to start the adoption process. No known fertility issues but my husband has a fear of loosing me in childbirth due to him knowing somebody who this has happened too. We also both come from step family’s and fully understand unconditional love does not equal DNA.
Anyway as we are about to start this journey I don’t know if I can ask two very basic questions please? 1) are we too old to adopt a baby? And is it much harder to adopt a baby? And 2) roughly how long does the process take?
Thank you for any advice and guidance anyone can give us! X
Top Comment: Hi there. My husband (39M) and I (35M) are in our first year of adoption, we have adopted a little boy (initially 5 now 6) and loving it, best thing we've done. We started the process at 38 & 34 respectively, so you're definitely not to old to adopt! The process took us 11 months from our initial enquiry to little boy moving in. But having met and spoken to a lot of couples now we understand our process was relatively straightforward and quick. We have met some couples who got through assessment quickly, but have been on the family finding stage for a year as they have been a lot more restricted in their preference... We met one couple who had been on the journey for 2 years and still hadn't found a match (but there were a lot of factors like being smokers and having to quit and prove they could maintain it). Things which helped us speed wise: Relationship of 16 years so no previous partners etc that we had to drag up during assessment stage. We know some couples with significant past relationships (marriage etc) who's ex was interviewed as part of the process. Two professionals so financial assessment was a breeze. New build 4 bed house, so home inspection was just a tick box exercise. One couple we met lived in an old Victorian and had to make a lot of safety alterations (their banister balustrades were to wide for example). We were prepared to adopt older, siblings and ethnic minority (3 of the 4 hard to place groups - disability being the 4th we excluded). All the couples I mentioned above have got through adoption, it just took them slightly longer... As for adopting a baby, that's going to be the difficult part for you. Most children in the system are 2+, but you could explore Foster to Adopt and early permenance. I hear getting a baby that way is easier, but there is always the risk with babies they may be sent back to birth parents. What I would say is we have enjoyed adopting an older child. Don't discount them right away! There are lots looking for homes, and the older they are the more social services and medicals will be able to tell you.